Software testing quotes designed to brighten your day

Software testers are a unique breed. Their work is detail-oriented, highly complex and frequently confrontational. It is never easy telling someone their work is flawed and guess what? Testers tend to find… well, flaws! A good sense of humour is therefore essential. Today then, we deliver some software testing quotes that will hopefully raise a smile in even the most put-upon of software testers!

Risque quotes

“If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.” (Edsger Dijkstra)

“If McDonalds were managed like a software company, 1 out of every 100 Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would be, ‘We’re sorry, here’s a coupon for two more’.” (Mark Minasi)

“Software testers always go to heaven; they’ve already had their fair share of hell.” (Anon.)

“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.” (Martin Golding)

“Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.” (Brian W. Kernighan)

“Software testers succeed where others fail.” (Anon.)

“If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.” (Gerald Weinberg)

“Bad programmers have all the answers. Good testers have all the questions.” (Gil Zilberfeld)

“Software testers do not make software; they only make them better.” (Anon.)

Funny quotes

“Where is the ‘any’ key?” (Homer Simpson, trying to figure out the “Press any key” notification)

“I don’t care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!” (Vidiu Platon)

“There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.” (Alan J. Perlis)

“I think it’s a new feature. Don’t tell anyone it was an accident.” (Larry Wall)

“One man’s crappy software is another man’s full-time job.” (Jessica Gaston)

“F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n sftwr tstng.” (Anon.)

“Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.” (Michael Sinz)

“3 Biggest Software Lies: The program is fully tested and bug-free.
We’re working on the documentation. Of course, we can modify it.” (Anon.)

“Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.” (Anon.)

“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.” (Mitch Radcliffe)

“Reminds me of the awesome bug report I saw once: ‘Everything is broken. Steps to reproduce: do anything. Expected result: it should work.’ ” (Felipe Knorr Kuhn)

Programming quotes

“Optimism is an occupational hazard of programming; feedback is the treatment.” (Kent Beck)

“Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file.” (Louis Srygley)

“The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late.” (Seymour Cray)

“A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.” (Doug Linder)

“Program testing can be a very effective way to show the presence of bugs but is hopelessly inadequate for showing their absence.” (Edsger Dijkstra)

What do you think of the software testing quotes selected here? Do you know of any we missed? If so, then we would love to hear from you in the comments section below… We would also love to hear from you if you require further information on software testing. Contact our experts today and we’ll be happy to help!